The Vichy Government - gigs

Vichy headlined the first night of Angular's Triangulation festival, three gigs in East, North and South London organised to promote the keenly-awaited Rip Off Your Labels compilation. The Eastern leg was held at a converted strip club in Shoreditch. The Swear and the mesmerising Sweetie supported. Live debut for The Loneliest Man In Ancient Rome. Intro music: Sly Stone, I Want To Take You Higher

Vichy knew, before we had been in Brighton three hours, that they meant to murder us. At a beautiful but run-down dome, we supported The Uterus Women, the new venture of Nick from The Feline Dream. The night was called Glamour, Satire & Fear, and also included the worrying panto krautrock of The Warehouse Collective. Intro music: Freda Payne, Band Of Gold

Renamed The Carling Government for one night only, Vichy sold out at the first offer to play one of the odious ClearChannel's "Carling" venues. We were in support to the trainer-bra Haines of The Pony Club, then about to release their second album on Setanta (Edwyn Collins, Divine Comedy). Our spies spotted Sean Hughes and Lauren Laverne in the crowd; what they made of Vichy, we may never know. Live debut for The Immortals. Intro music: Isley Bros, Seek & Ye Shall Find

It was clear that The Vichy Government were natural candidates to play a fundraising Nirvana tribute marking the tenth anniversary of Kurt Cobain's apparent suicide, and play it we did- offering up Heart Shaped Box as a fairground waltz and Sliver as a calypso lullaby. In a bill featuring Miss Black America, The Dawn Parade and usual suspects, we were the only act with enough narcissism to play a song of our own (Rubbish).

Whitechapel electropoppers Subculture kicked off their Electrocution club night with us as special guests. The night was the best-attended Sunday in the history of this venue, best known as the place where Nico recorded her final record Camera Obscura. Intro music: Noel Coward, There Are Bad Times Just Around The Corner

Another appearance at the peerless Fan Club saw Vichy sandwiched between sometime Human League DJs Ex-Rental and the risible poledancing goths Kinky Disco. Intro music: The Angels, My Boyfriend's Back

Vichy were called back to the province in order to boost flagging ticket sales for the visit of Scissor Sisters (easily the most unpleasant people we have ever met). In protest at the mindless muck peddled by Jake and Ana, the Dale Winton and Lily Savage of pop, we erected an onstage sign reading "SAVE ULSTER FROM SODOMY" and unveiled our New Puritan direction with stern pulpit readings of Oliver Cromwell In Weimar Berlin and Life Should Mean Life.

This historic occasion saw Vichy come face to face with our sworn nemeses The Free French, led by corrupt Gaullist rat Rhodri Marsden, and lay down our arms to celebrate the birth of the baby Jesus. The show was compered by the poet John Hegley, who seemed to enjoy acting out his Elvis Costello fantasies. Our flyers featured Charles Hawtrey in Carry On Don't Lose Your Head. Intro music: Adam Ant, Young Parisians

Vichy were introduced to what would soon be labelled the New Cross "scene" for the launch night of Angular Records' virgin compilation -later to fetch £90 on ebay and be awarded NME's compilation of the year- which included Make Love To The Camera. The Guardian-reading students were shocked, appalled and disgusted, and booed throughout. Jamie attempted to pacify the mob by reading extracts from The Kenneth Williams Diaries between songs.The Swear and Gifthorse also played.